Holidays, birthdays, graduations, special events, all are important milestones for children, and relatives and friends of a family quite naturally want to be a part of these special occasions.

But what if the child is autistic and presents with the range of disorders commonly associated with the syndrome? What if the child has behavior problems? What if the child has language problems? Attention problems? Gross and fine motor skill issues? All of these are common symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). And, they can make gift giving a real challenge.

Although giving toys to autistic children can be daunting, like most other issues in life, a little common sense can go a long way. Here are some tips on choosing toys for autistic children.

First, don’t be swayed by what’s popular at the moment, especially, if the game or tape contains violence. Many experts say that autistic children have difficulty distinguishing between what is real and what is fantasy. Just don’t take the chance.

Second, don’t be swayed by age recommendations provided by the manufacturer. Autistic children develop atypically and what might be suitable for a “normal” five-year-old might be the perfect toy for a ten-year-old autistic child.

Third, don’t give toys which have many pieces, particularly pieces with sharp edges or pieces that are small. Autistic children often put things in their mouths and toys with many pieces can pose a danger of choking.

Fourth, use resources that are available and don’t let yourself be overwhelmed. Many large sites, including Amazon, organize toys by category, including “toys for autistic children.” Use the tools that can help you find a toy easily and then be sure to read the customer reviews.

Fifth and most important, don’t be afraid to ask the parents. Many people when confronted with a situation about which they know little are insecure and have a tendency to just ignore it.But it’s too easy. If you’re in a quandry about what to give, ask the parents. Committed parents of children with autism are keenly aware of what their child needs and if you ask, they won’t hesitate to tell you. Another option is to make a list of toys in the price range you want to spend and ask the parents to select a toy. (In the last decade or so, interest in autism has grown so dramatically, that a variety of manufacturers are making toys for autistic children in a variety of price ranges.)

One final thought. Your sensitivity in giving an appropriate toy to an autistic child is something that will be remembered long after the child has outgrown or discarded the specific toy.